orderbeforepeace | VOICE TESTING THIS BASTARD

Vodka and eggs at 9:30am = thank you, America.

How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text?

I honestly thought I would have more to say upon “meeting” Connor’s father, but alas; so, hello, I am the woman sleeping with your son, it’s nice to meet you.

Guess which one’s the lie.

I apologize for disturbing you so late in the evening, Mr. Kenway, but... I think you should come collect your family members now. Your father keeps telling people quite loudly, “I’m not Irish! I’m Welsh and pissed, with a little bit of drunk mixed in, therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.”

He seems to be rather serious about that as well, given the state of his knuckles.

[Haytham is going to receive a couple of screenshots of this particular conversation. Please, share in his suffering Dad.]

Your father is obnoxious.

Normally, if somebody from the Brotherhood Transport Company was up to something dangerous and stupid, it was... well, there were any number of people to choose from, but the important point was that it was almost never Evie Frye.
The company, of course, was known in certain circles more for their smuggling, rabble rousing and assassination jobs against the agents of the Empire, but as long as all their credentials checked out and none of them were ever caught, the Empire would never be able to pin anything on them and everything would be fine.
The fact that a close relative of two of the Brotherhood's most skilled members was, in fact, an agent of the Empire's most elite police unit was a bone of contention for people on both sides of the fence - and every one of those people would be perturbed to know it was none other than this very relative that Evie was on her way to meet.

The sun was setting over the spaceport as Evie's craft landed, leaving her with a few hours before she was due to take off again with her next shipment - a few hours the others no doubt expected her to use researching or reading or one of her other more academic hobbies, but instead she was slipping into a somewhat seedy tavern and taking a seat in the back corner, waiting for one Haytham Kenway to arrive.

1. We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.

2. You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.

3. (misfire) I will never use my dick in anger, with great dick comes great responsibility.

4. (misfire 2) It was a good dick. I'll give credit where credit is due, a good dick deserves praise.

It's a little strange, celebrating such a holiday. Even if it had existed during his time, there would have been little to actually commemorate. Perhaps he would have given a card or small gift to Achilles, wordlessly leaving it by his bedside and never speaking another word about it.

But things were far different now - both his father and his grandfather were suddenly, mysteriously, alive and well in this world they had found themselves in. Where only months before he never even would have considered giving Haytham a gift to celebrate his fatherhood, now he felt it only right.

So on this day, he has invited Haytham to visit him at the homestead, where he had prepared a small breakfast for them to share, as well as a rather large, flat gift, wrapped in dark blue waiting in one of the chairs located in the study.

"Thank you for coming, father. I am thankful that I am able to spend this day with you."

TEXTS YOU SAY?

TEXT HUH?

Entirely out of group psl continuity

no subject

Excuse me sir have you seen my father?

Buckle up kids because it's random AU time...IN SPACE

Choose your poison?