VOICE TESTING THIS BASTARD

[orderbeforepeace]

 
OPEN to texts, memes, weird AU shit. Just throw it this way

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[orderbeforepeace]

I do not think they would have you.

At your house, I should assume.

[fameorfolly]

That's fine. Doesn't seem a place I want to visit anyway.

No. AMERICA. I'm at a diner

[orderbeforepeace]

I'm sorry to hear that Father.
What can I do to help?

[fameorfolly]

what sorry, why?

You can join me if you want

[orderbeforepeace]

I didn't realise you were there by choice.

Do they serve food there? Tea? Toast? Marmalade?

[fameorfolly]

of course they serve food. I have eggs and toast and bacon. But it's skinny bacon not the good thick kind

I'm sure they've got that too they have everything

[orderbeforepeace]

In that case I will come along, if only because I want to prevent you having a cardiac arrest.

[fameorfolly]

you do realize I am nearly 30 years younger than you, right?

[28 to be precise.]

Stay away from the fried foods old man. And the salty stuff too

[orderbeforepeace]

Says the one eating, and I quote, eggs and toast and bacon, skinny bacon not the good thick kind."

But than you for your concern.

[fameorfolly]

Aye, but we both know it's not eating good food that does me in.

You know, you act like an old man too. Have you even had a decent night out with the lads?

You DO have mates right?

[orderbeforepeace]

I know father, but I was avoiding that subject.

I do. Some of mine are even still alive.

[fameorfolly]

Oh.

Alright, c'mon, that was a bit uncalled for.

[orderbeforepeace]

Perhaps we should both attempt not to insult the other, if we want this truce to hold? It is not my intention to cause strife if it may be avoided.

[fameorfolly]

I was making light of things.

You had to take it a step further.

[orderbeforepeace]

In that case, I apologise. Besides, we find ourselves in the wondrous situation where what we know has come to pass has not. As such, I take back my words.

[fameorfolly]

I'm sorry as well, I didn't think joking about my own death would upset you. It's sort of, I don't know, I'm not even sure what to do with that knowledge. Its awful and I wished it wouldn't have happened, you kids still clearly needed me.

You just.... you don't really seem to make many friends Haytham, you're a bit cold and prickly.

[orderbeforepeace]

Father if this is your attempt to start a friendly conversation I must inform you that you are failing miserably.

I am for the most part satisfied with the company I keep.

[fameorfolly]

I'm trying to apologize and i don't know, explain myself. Be honest...

Yeah but, how often do you go out just to have a good time? Meet some new people. Have a one-night-stand. Or just a good time. What kind of father would I be if I weren't interested in your happiness.

[orderbeforepeace]

Father, there are a great deal of thing in which we differ. I do not like to "go out with the lads"
neither do I get "shit faced".

I was lucky enough, in my formative years, to have parents who encouraged me to read and enjoy cultural pursuits, and I prefer those to drinking or any other hobbies you may name.

[fameorfolly]

You don't have to get shit-faced to go out and have a good time, Son. You're older now, I understand that changes things a bit, but... honestly. You seem like you've been shut in and made to work your entire life. I wouldn't have wanted you to to be all work no play

[Read as; Boring. You're kind of boring Haytham.]

Do you know any games? Cards, dice, chess? I don't know.

[orderbeforepeace]

[ Thank you. That's always what he wanted to be. ]

You taught me Chess, Father. You were very good at it, apart from those few times I believe you let me win. I find it hard to believe that a man who was a pirate and a skilled tactician could be bested by a seven-year-old.

[fameorfolly]

I don't know. You were a brilliant child. Too smart for your own good at times perhaps...

I might've let you win a few times at first, after all, you'd get bored of it otherwise.

How long till you're at the diner?

[orderbeforepeace]

You are incredibly impatient.

[ A few moments later, Haytham is there. He doesn't look entirely pleased, mostly because the directions he'd had to this place had been almost impossible to follow, but perhaps he can blame that on the vodka his father has apparently had for breakfast. ]

I don't believe you ever let me win. And I don't believe I should ever take directions from you again, for that matter.

[fameorfolly]

I'm not you're just

[And then Haytham is there and there are a few shots in front of Edward that are empty, along with a plate of food he's consumed. He ordered a basket of fries and "chicken fingers" to nibble on in hopes of sharing them with Haytham, but he's eaten most of it by now.]

Well I couldn't exactly remember how I got here. You were too slow, but I saved you a chicken finger.

[orderbeforepeace]

[ He should sigh. He should be truly exasperated. But the very fact that his father has thought of him a little is... unexpected. True, he has eaten most of the food himself, but he's almost certainly hung over. If the greasy food will stop him emptying his stomach on the pavement, Haytham will just accept it. ]

Thank you. But you can finish it.

[Who has fried, breaded meat for breakfast? No one sensible. Still, there's a waitress there soon enough, just as Haytham's made himself comfortable.]

Tea- wait. You people drink it with ice. Two coffees. Black for him.

[And before Edward can argue] And no more alcohol, please.

You realise that everyone is going to believe that you are my son, don't you?