VOICE TESTING THIS BASTARD

[orderbeforepeace]

 
OPEN to texts, memes, weird AU shit. Just throw it this way

Comments

TEXTS YOU SAY?

[fameorfolly]

Vodka and eggs at 9:30am = thank you, America.

[orderbeforepeace]

Vodka is a Russian innovation Father

[fameorfolly]

Is it? I've never had reason to go to Russia.

Either way where else can you get vodka with your breakfast?

[orderbeforepeace]

I do not think they would have you.

At your house, I should assume.

[fameorfolly]

That's fine. Doesn't seem a place I want to visit anyway.

No. AMERICA. I'm at a diner

[orderbeforepeace]

I'm sorry to hear that Father.
What can I do to help?

[fameorfolly]

what sorry, why?

You can join me if you want

[orderbeforepeace]

I didn't realise you were there by choice.

Do they serve food there? Tea? Toast? Marmalade?

[fameorfolly]

of course they serve food. I have eggs and toast and bacon. But it's skinny bacon not the good thick kind

I'm sure they've got that too they have everything

[orderbeforepeace]

In that case I will come along, if only because I want to prevent you having a cardiac arrest.

[fameorfolly]

you do realize I am nearly 30 years younger than you, right?

[28 to be precise.]

Stay away from the fried foods old man. And the salty stuff too

[orderbeforepeace]

Says the one eating, and I quote, eggs and toast and bacon, skinny bacon not the good thick kind."

But than you for your concern.

[fameorfolly]

Aye, but we both know it's not eating good food that does me in.

You know, you act like an old man too. Have you even had a decent night out with the lads?

You DO have mates right?

[orderbeforepeace]

I know father, but I was avoiding that subject.

I do. Some of mine are even still alive.

[fameorfolly]

Oh.

Alright, c'mon, that was a bit uncalled for.

[orderbeforepeace]

Perhaps we should both attempt not to insult the other, if we want this truce to hold? It is not my intention to cause strife if it may be avoided.

[fameorfolly]

I was making light of things.

You had to take it a step further.

[orderbeforepeace]

In that case, I apologise. Besides, we find ourselves in the wondrous situation where what we know has come to pass has not. As such, I take back my words.

[fameorfolly]

I'm sorry as well, I didn't think joking about my own death would upset you. It's sort of, I don't know, I'm not even sure what to do with that knowledge. Its awful and I wished it wouldn't have happened, you kids still clearly needed me.

You just.... you don't really seem to make many friends Haytham, you're a bit cold and prickly.

[orderbeforepeace]

Father if this is your attempt to start a friendly conversation I must inform you that you are failing miserably.

I am for the most part satisfied with the company I keep.

[fameorfolly]

I'm trying to apologize and i don't know, explain myself. Be honest...

Yeah but, how often do you go out just to have a good time? Meet some new people. Have a one-night-stand. Or just a good time. What kind of father would I be if I weren't interested in your happiness.

[orderbeforepeace]

Father, there are a great deal of thing in which we differ. I do not like to "go out with the lads"
neither do I get "shit faced".

I was lucky enough, in my formative years, to have parents who encouraged me to read and enjoy cultural pursuits, and I prefer those to drinking or any other hobbies you may name.

[fameorfolly]

You don't have to get shit-faced to go out and have a good time, Son. You're older now, I understand that changes things a bit, but... honestly. You seem like you've been shut in and made to work your entire life. I wouldn't have wanted you to to be all work no play

[Read as; Boring. You're kind of boring Haytham.]

Do you know any games? Cards, dice, chess? I don't know.

[orderbeforepeace]

[ Thank you. That's always what he wanted to be. ]

You taught me Chess, Father. You were very good at it, apart from those few times I believe you let me win. I find it hard to believe that a man who was a pirate and a skilled tactician could be bested by a seven-year-old.

[fameorfolly]

I don't know. You were a brilliant child. Too smart for your own good at times perhaps...

I might've let you win a few times at first, after all, you'd get bored of it otherwise.

How long till you're at the diner?