orderbeforepeace | VOICE TESTING THIS BASTARD

Yes, well, that's when I've settled down with a family, isn't it?

To be fair, I don't think I've texted Jenny while drunk. Look, it ain't as bad as you're making it sound. So I tend to send inappropriate things to you two from time to time. Well... a lot of the time it's a mistake, I just am mixing up names or someone's switched them on me for a laugh.

I'll try not to do it anymore. But I can't promise I'll quit drinking.

[That may be the one thing Jacob is a terrible influence about, drinking.]

I do not want it to become a habit you are unable to break.

I realise it is a mistake more often than not, Father. To a degree I appreciate that you are young and carefree. But that does not make it any easier to receive those messages.

No, I did not think you would.

You haven't been around many pirates, bit too late for that, son.

I know, and trust me, I'm going to smack Jacob upside the head when next I see him. Don't you think you and Connor make this into a bigger offense than it need be? You honestly don't get any amusement with it? I mean it's kind of funny.

No, by the time I was born you had sworn off the sea and for good reason, I believe.

It may have been slightly less horrific the first time. And perhaps the second. But now we are into double digits, I've completely lost my sense of fun. And Connor is... struggling. This is not who he is. He is very responsible and very serious. Please be mindful of that?

What, it can't be. You're having a laugh

what do you mean he's "struggling"? I mean he's been angry with me a time or two, I can't much blame him, but he don't seem different?

I mean father that he is having to hold himself back from stabbing you. I don't think he could be blamed either. You are extremely good at frustrating him.

Oh, that's rich. He wants to stab me? Please. I'm on his bloody side of all things.

Not long ago he was talking about how he couldn't forgive you and now suddenly I'm the one at risk of being stabbed over some minor and ridiculous thing?

you both are taking this way too seriously.

I'm afraid father that Connor and I are very serious men. We don't tend to make jokes, more often in fact, we are the butt of them.

I am sorry, I would much rather the pair of you got along, I think Connor would much rather be on good terms with you, as he never got to meet you at all.

I will do all I can to facilitate that, and I will speak to him. He should not get so frustrated but... please consider that he is, for want of a better explanation, very much my son.

Maybe you wouldn't end up the butt if you were more relaxed and could have a bit of a laugh even at yourself.

What really gets me is that he gets so angry over this one stupid thing that he wants to stab me, and it's as if I haven't done anything at all good for him since we met. Which is absolute bollocks, because I've done plenty to be like a father, or a brother, or a friend, or a mentor, or any other kind of word to bond with him.

But a couple of drunk texts and any of that goes out the window?? I mean c'mon. I love him, and I love you, and no matter how bloody frustrating either of you can be, you don't see me threatening to do you harm.

Would you rather I be more of a commanding jackass when I get lip from either of you? Should I box your ears and whoop your arse? I thought the pair of you might appreciate a more light-hearted sort instead of some authority figure. I thought you might like to be able to relax with me and joke around.

Whatever. You both wouldn't like me when I'm being Captain. And if you'd prefer, I'll just keep my distance then. Jaysus, wouldn't be the first time me family didn't want me around. I'm used to it by now. Thought maybe it might be different this time, what I damned fool I was.

I understand that is how you feel father. But it isn't as easy as that.

I don't think he would stab you father. I think his patience wore thin and he... reacted badly. He is at times as reactive as you can be, more so. His mother was... very similar. Please don't take it to heart. He does care for you, I think he had spent so long not having family, it is difficult for him to adjust. Please just allow him time to cool his heels and things will repair themselves.

Father. I have to say that the man I grew up under was rather... strict. Incredibly strict, in actual fact. You did, in fact, offer to box my ears on more than one occasion.

Don't be ridiculous. I saught you out, I wanted to know you. I do not regret doing so. I would do the same again, even knowing that we do not see eye-to-eye. I am not trying to push you away. I... do not want that.

It is, actually, it's very easy to learn how to relax. You two have such an incredible rod up your ass that you don't seem to be enjoying yourselves at all. Having a laugh once and awhile would do you some real good.

Is that what happened when he stabbed you? He just... reacted badly. You know, slip of the hidden blade right into your throat.

The pair of you don't seem to know me at all and what you do know of me just upsets you so, I'm not sure how well this is working for either of us.

And as far as not pushing me away, well you both don't exactly make me feel welcome and wanted either.

VOICE TESTING THIS BASTARD

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